Thoughts, beliefs and emotional patterns you developed to survive in your past, may have created blocks to your living a connected and happy life today. Continuing to obey what others said you should do when you were a child, can disconnect you from knowing how you feel and what you want. Avoiding conflict may have kept you from being attacked or feeling hurt, but it can also leave you feeling lonely, and squash your ability to have a voice, stand up for yourself, and ask for what you want, need or desire.

As the youngest of 5 children, I was taught to avoid conflict. I made a conscious decision to do “everything right” in Dad’s eyes so that I wouldn’t become the focus of his rage like my Mom and older siblings often were. While this spared me pain and injury from his direct abuse, it disconnected me from listening to my internal guidance and from living authentically.

Not knowing yourself, your wants, your needs and desires, makes it impossible for you to live authentically. How could you, or anyone, live the truest expression of yourself while spending enormous amounts of time and energy denying self and focusing on what you think others think you should be doing? You can’t.

Also, how could you even begin to truly love yourself if you are busy living as a version of who you think you should be based on the expectations of others? For me, it felt impossible and was very confusing.

Of course we struggle with self-love when we aren’t even sure who the self is. Loving yourself becomes easier as you drop beliefs, judgements and criticisms that keep you from singing your song. You learn to love yourself, even when others judge you harshly.

You can’t be fully free until you release patterns that make you feel like you are required to fix, change, or control what is before you. There is a difference between helping someone because if you don’t, you will lose their love or perceive yourself as an uncaring person, and helping someone because your heart is inspired to do so.

You didn’t survive your past just so you could live disconnected from yourself now. It is time to see your past in truth, and let go of the fear. I love and appreciate your commitment to facing what no longer works for you and getting real so you can live alife full of purpose, joy, and peace.

Thank you for allowing me to support you on your journey. May you be touched by the energy of expanded peace and freedom. May you connect with your innocence and make room to enjoy your childlike wonder, for that is who you are.

This post originally appeared in the September 2018 Inner Prosperity Newsletter. You can sign up for our newsletter and get these gems in your inbox as well as a free guided mediation on peace.

Rita Henry

Rita Henry

Rita Henry, founder of Inner Prosperity in Des Moines, Iowa, is an intuitive counselor who has helped thousands of people live more joyful, authentic lives. Rita’s unique approach combines powerful energy work, Qigong, meditation, and breath-work to help clients heal the mind, body and spirit. Rita provides essential, unwavering support through individual sessions and a wide range of group-centered classes, workshops and retreats.