You are the creator of your life – even if others can’t love, value and accept you as you are. By accepting yourself, you fit into your own skin. By fitting into your skin, you are relieved of the insanity of chasing someone or something outside of you.
Life has handed my ass to me time and time again, and through it all, I was shown who I was and who I wasn’t. 👻👼🏽
As I began to wake up, I was haunted by my nightmare 🌙 of being a perpetual people pleaser who was desperately trying to fit in.
Fitting in was a habit leftover from my childhood, trying to stay safe by pleasing my parents. ☔
My dad regularly handed out abuse. My mom lacked the ability to stand up to my father. She carried the burden of trying to cope with Dad’s explosive outbursts, but she couldn’t defend herself 👊, let alone protect us kids. 👶
Since I was super sensitive, I could feel the burden Mom carried, and I was afraid of contributing to her pain 🤕. I learned that it was useless to have wants and needs since they weren’t going to be met anyway. I made myself invisible the best I could – by being a “good girl” who didn’t ask for what I needed.
I was experiencing life through two painful beliefs: 1) that I needed to hide emotions and true feelings and 2) I wasn’t lovable because of who I was but for what I did. (Love was a transaction.). 😿💔☄️
I started to hone my intuition by using it as a means of survival.
Little by little, I became skilled at reading other people’s energy to keep myself safe. This included being a chameleon 🦋 and adapting to whatever the current emotional terrain 🏜️ was so I could get through what felt like explosive hot spots, and hopefully, get to a point in time where the pain wasn’t as loud.
I was taught that in order to be safe mentally, emotionally, and physically that I couldn’t be me. 👸
There wasn’t room for that. I just needed to shrink 🐛 and do what I needed to do to survive and get by.
This shaped my desperation to unknowingly manipulate others into liking me so I could feel like I fit in and thus avoid facing my core fear 😱 of being abandoned and rejected.
For years, I believed I needed to please others so that I wouldn’t be abandoned or rejected. I was innocently ignorant and had zero awareness that I was living from this fearful place. Unknowingly I was trying to control others, even though I never had control. All I had was the anxiety of trying to fit in. 🎮
Little did I know that in my desperate attempt to fit in to avoid being abandoned and rejected by others, I was abandoning and rejecting myself.
That was awkward and yet, on the other side of knowing it, I began to understand my past, how I got there, and what I needed to do to have a new experience. 😇
This makes me think of the late author, Dr. Wayne Dyer, who used to say, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
Fitting in is really a state of mind – how you look at things. Underneath all the different shapes, sizes, colors, and levels of consciousness, we’re all having a human experience. I’m not like everyone else and neither are you. When I tried to be like others, I ended up losing myself again and again and again. 🔺🟩🟣
Even if others desperately want you to change so you fit into who they want you to be, can you see their ignorance and how hard they judge themselves?
As you walk 🚶♀️ through life using your awareness to see truth, you’ll come to know yourself better. From that lens 🔍 – knowing you are the creator of your life – you get to decide who you are in relationship to others. And that, my friend, changes everything. 🤝
I am creating a safe space in this weird time just for YOU. Will you join me for this powerful life altering in-the-best-way-possible event?
Join me for my Free Online Healing Workshop Monday, November 5 from 11:00 am – Noon (Central Time). Our focus will be “Forgiveness, Finding the Feedom to be Happy.” That seemed especially relevant considering the energy of our world today. 🧑🏽🤝🧑🏽🙌🙏
I’ll personally lead the workshop and guide you through the healing power of this interactive, group experience. Even if you can’t attend, you’ll receive a recording of the event if you register here.