Years ago a friend of mine, Kurt Geiger, lost his wife. That experience sent him spiraling into a painful journey of coming to know himself, and life, in ways he never thought possible. Recently, he sent me the following note and with his permission I am sharing it with you.
“The moral of my life story is one of learning to accept life for what it is, instead of raging against what it is not. By definition, life is change. To embrace life, I needed to learn to embrace change. Not always immediately or perfectly, but at least eventually, and well enough to make it possible for me to continue to embrace life, and even an unknowable future. Letting go of the past, and not worrying about the future, leaves us free to live right here, in this moment, and revel in its wonder, its splendor, and the joy of endless possibilities.”
Life is change and along the way it changes us. Life can be painful, especially when we don’t accept it as it is. I remember when my Mom had bone cancer how agonizing it was for ME to accept her pain. I HATED it. One time I drove her 6 blocks to my brother’s house and I was ready to crawl out of my skin. I didn’t mind it taking over an hour to get her out of her home, into my car and to drive the six blocks to my brother’s home. It crushed me to see the pain the smallest movements she made caused her. And yet, she wasn’t even complaining, though I would not have blamed her if she did.
When I haven’t done my own work of surrender and acceptance in an area, then I certainly can’t meet someone else in their pain. My Mom gifted me with the opportunity to stop fighting her pain and to deepen into accepting what was and fully loving her exactly where she was in her own experience. It changed everything! With acceptance, I was able to be more present and open-hearted with her when we were together. It was what I had always wanted.”
Pain and suffering can play a powerful role in our awakening. Yes, it is the gift of pain. Once we open to the potential within the pain, once we stop making what we are experiencing in life wrong, THEN we can focus on seeing what is: Truth.
In Truth, Team Surrender is the only team there is. When I think of all the times I have fought myself, boy does my heart open with DEEP compassion. I was taught to make pain in my life wrong. And yet, the catalyst of pain in my life has often provided me with the greatest growth of all.
