I Was Taught Dishonest Honesty

Oct 19, 2017 | Honesty, Try Acceptance

Honesty is golden, but it is not always what we live or teach. As a child, I was raised Catholic and being honest was something preached by teachers, in the church and at home. Conceptually, it was a wonderful idea. Still, when it got right down to it, there wasn’t a lot of emotional honesty in the household I grew up in. Not that anyone meant to be dishonest, but not all feelings were welcome when I was growing up. In my parents’ innocent ignorance, they were stuck in pain from their past. They could not freely meet or welcome feelings of anger, fear, sadness, or even pure joy without shutting down.

Since my parents had not done their work to get comfortable with their own anger in the presence of someone else’s anger, either they shut down, or they shut the other person down.

This relates to other emotions as well. For example, if I haven’t done my work to get comfortable with grief, I could shut down in the presence of someone else’s grief. Or, I could shut the other person down by putting up a wall, indicating disapproval of their sharing. Or, from a place of my own disconnect, tell them they need to move on.

The good news is that your feelings are not the Truth of who you are; but they are indicators for what is up for you to heal. As uncomfortable as being honest with yourself and your feelings may be, it is an inner compass to lead you to living your authentic life.

When fear comes up, you can know that something is coming up to be healed. For me, one of my core fears in life was the fear of being abandoned and rejected. Leaning into my fears and meeting them was the pathway for me to see how I was abandoning and rejecting myself, which led me to heal and transform. I wanted other people to see me but I couldn’t see myself. I also wanted other people, especially men, to love, value and respect me, but again – I didn’t know that I didn’t know how to love, value or respect myself. Doing my work meant getting honest with myself. The exciting part of that was honesty offered me personal empowerment to move beyond my limitations. It was what I had always wanted.

Honesty supports you in aligning with the wisdom of your heart and can guide you to what is next. Honesty is NOT necessarily convenient, and honesty can drastically shake things up. Honesty may appear to crush opportunities or relationships if you are attached to a certain outcome of how life unfolds. Out of the uncertainty and chaos, there can be a whole new experience of connection and expansion beyond what you ever thought possible.

Your Divine Life is playing out. When you do your work to get honest with yourself and to heal, this healing benefits you, as well as most everyone in your life. It is a dynamic gift that you give to yourself and to the world when you release blocks to living your authentic life, free of issues and emotional charges that have been holding you back.

Honesty and acceptance go a long way. As you move through your experience of life, be gentle with any feelings of disappointment, or feelings that you are not enough that may arise. Remember, your feelings are indicative of what is up for you to heal. So, as you would offer loving kindness to a child who has been hurt, meet your feelings with loving kindness as you navigate through your own healing. You deserve to align with a greater experience of love (since Love is who you are). It may feel messy and scary along the way but you are safe. Aligning with honesty means you remember the love that you are! I LOVE that!

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Rita is an Intuitive Counselor who works with bright sensitive people who are sick of struggling in their relationships and want to make the pain go away. Though her in-person and online intimate healing retreats and one-on-one sessions, she has helped thousands of people quiet the noise, move forward, and make peace with their past and their present, so that they can heal, be happier, and live a life they love.

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