If You Want to Feel Better, Do This…

Mar 5, 2019 | Enjoy Life, Try Acceptance

Not taking yourself or what’s going on in your life too seriously is a SUPERPOWER. While you will have times of intense shit going down in your life, it can be fortifying to remember that it’s not the only thing the world is experiencing.

Years ago, I was in the Caribbean, and took a crash course on scuba diving before going on an underwater adventure. My heart began to sing as I took in this world of coral reefs, schools of fish, stingrays, and at times lightly petting vibrantly colored fish while I fed them little food pellets.

This world had no idea that my world of being a mom, a partner, a daughter, or working in the insurance industry even existed. I loved knowing that my view of the world was only one view and that not only did this underwater world not know about my world, it also didn’t care. This undersea encounter gave me permission to remember that the things I was struggling with were only an experience and in no way defined me or the world.

Through this encounter, I leaned into the possibility of ACCEPTING and EMBRACING what was before me, learning any lessons along the way, and moving beyond the tough stuff I was experiencing.

Some of the toughest things I have experienced shaped and molded me into who I am today. I wouldn’t change a thing.

When you’re having tough moments in a relationship — having a fight over something — even if that “something” seems important, it helps to remember that it may not be what it seems.

In any relationship, if you lock in on your feelings and focus on what’s wrong in your life, you won’t be able to take in the goodness that’s going on in the world around you or even in your relationship.

When my husband Karl complains about how I put the dishes in the dishwasher, I grin and remind him how lucky he is to have me around to put the dishes in the dishwasher wrong. This makes him smile, he forgets to be angry, and we move on.

At times, my other response is to explode in anger at him for his controlling ways in the kitchen. When I respond like this, it usually takes us a little longer to end up laughing. The reset for me is remembering what a good man he is and how generous he is with making meals and cleaning up. Mostly, I am happy to give him control of “his kitchen.” But when I smile and remind him how lucky he is to have me around, it’s definitely more fun for both of us.

Since what you focus on expands, remember to be PLAYFUL. Sometimes healing can look like laughter, playfulness and rest.

Only focusing on pain and struggle in your life is an error that will cost you joy, happiness and satisfaction.

  1. See the big picture of your life. There are things to be grateful for, and there are likely places of pain.

  2. When pain presents itself in your life, it is coming up to be healed. We don’t need to make the pain wrong, because it isn’t. Feeling bad (mentally, emotionally, or physically) isn’t bad.

  3. Address the pain and see what is coming up for you to heal, but know it is not the only truth of your life.

In my work with Hospice, I have seen people transform before me as they met themselves with compassion and kindness or received it from others. All of sudden, they could relax and stop seeing the pain as the whole truth. They opened up and responded to the presence of love.

If you are in pain, it doesn’t help to pretend or deny that it isn’t there. It does help to acknowledge it AND stay open to sharing and receiving love, compassion and understanding for yourself and others. It is all about the balance.

If we focus on pain in life (mental, emotional or physical), we will be enmeshed in only a partial truth. Staying open to the love the Universe offers in a bazillion different ways… changes everything.




This world is a world of illusion. Behind every painful experience is deep, transformational love. You deserve more love, not less.

ARE YOU REMEMBERING the love that you are and living it? Whether you are working, cooking, or brushing your teeth, may you feel the aligned vibration of love in everything you do. Oh, and make sure you add “love myself” to your daily “to do” list. When you extend love to yourself and others, you are contributing directly to world peace.

I invite you to open your heart and to accept your current version of life. Lighten your load by facing what is before you, asking for help you need (and being open to it), keeping what is working, and letting go of what isn’t.

Love expands, and it delights me to bring more of it into the world through your loving heart. I love and appreciate you. You inspire me.

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Rita is an Intuitive Counselor who works with bright sensitive people who are sick of struggling in their relationships and want to make the pain go away. Though her in-person and online intimate healing retreats and one-on-one sessions, she has helped thousands of people quiet the noise, move forward, and make peace with their past and their present, so that they can heal, be happier, and live a life they love.

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