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Self Intimacy Can Save You This Holiday Season

Dec 18, 2023 | Enjoy Life, Forgiveness, Love Yourself, The Work

You can’t have an intimate relationship with anyone else if you don’t have one with yourself. 

🍗 How can you expect someone else to make your favorite dish this week if you don’t even know what it is? 

🎁 How can you expect them to pick out the perfect gift if you won’t let yourself have wants? 

🫠 How can you expect them to know when it’s time to leave you alone when you’re too busy trying to make everyone else happy before you’ll allow yourself to be?

This holiday season you don’t have to numb yourself with sugar and alcohol. You don’t have to ignore your own wants and needs in favor of throwing the perfect party. You don’t even have to pretend you’re holding it all together when the truth is you’re about to sob hysterically the moment your mom asks if you’re ok. 

There’s a better way.

How well are you listening to yourself?

Pay attention, what is the first thing that comes to mind, if anything, when you ask yourself the following questions;

  1. What is working for you in your life?
  2. What isn’t working for you in your life?
  3. What do you need to do less of in your life?
  4. What do you need to do more of in your life?

Ask and listen. Ask and listen. Then, ask and listen.

Intimacy is ALL about listening to yourself.

It might seem scary at first because what happens when you realize you don’t want to host the holiday party and everyone expects you to? 

The truth is, no matter what comes up, you can still host the party. But ignoring your wants and needs (and pretending you don’t even have them) isn’t kind and likely isn’t working. 

When you listen to yourself, you won’t: 

  • Have to numb yourself on too much turkey trying to escape your reality.
  • Need to get mad when someone else gets you a gift that doesn’t suit you. 
  • Get pulled into the drama everyone wants to bring to the table. 

When you listen to yourself, you’ll be able to respond as inspired to what’s going on around you and stay present with it all. 

Deep listening leads to a more authentically and connected YOU!

That’s what doing your work is ALL about.

Rita ❤️


P.S. Happy Holidays! If this time of year reminds you of all the reasons you want your life to be different than it is, check out my online community, The Essentials. It’s filled with resources, meditations, and tools you need to stay grounded and present with your life so you don’t have to numb or escape any of it. You deserve to enjoy the holidays, Essentials is the perfect gift to give yourself so you can.


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Rita is an Intuitive Counselor who works with bright sensitive people who are sick of struggling in their relationships and want to make the pain go away. Though her in-person and online intimate healing retreats and one-on-one sessions, she has helped thousands of people quiet the noise, move forward, and make peace with their past and their present, so that they can heal, be happier, and live a life they love.

I can't wait to see you in the Inner Circle