The Source of Loneliness May Not Be What You Think

Jul 19, 2017 | Time to Heal

For years I had no idea what it meant to live consciously or to have a conscious voice. Disconnected from myself, my true voice was filtered and corrupted by the pain I harbored. In my pain I was convinced that if other people, situations, or the world changed, then I could be happy. Having a conscious voice required me to get intimate with myself and become aware of all of my feelings, including those I had labeled as good or bad and those previously hidden from my awareness.

Here’ the truth: there are no good or bad feelings. All feelings are just information and indicators of what needs healing within us. For example, loneliness. Say you meet someone and start a new relationship, only to still feel lonely. This is because loneliness isn’t about a lack of connection with another person, but a lack of intimacy and connection with yourself. It’s like expecting your car’s check engine light to go away by driving on a different road. You may have changed the external scenery but the internal cause of your problem hasn’t been addressed, so it persists.

Your ability to experience intimacy with another is unlocked when you have an intimate connection with yourself. What often happens when you move through life unconsciously is that you may use a relationship to feel bad, stay disconnected, or reinforce the stories and identities you hold. The good news is that when you pay attention, you can “use” your relationships with others to observe what is going on inside of you. Notice what you project, and develop an intimate connection with yourself. The core of your experience of any relationship is your relationship with yourself!

Having a conscious voice requires stepping into the sometimes messy and confusing beliefs of what you “think” is the problem, so you can uncover and then heal the cause of what really keeps you from happiness. Through intimate awareness, you can release confusion and have a voice on behalf of Truth. Your Truth. Without this level of Truth telling and listening, you are preventing yourself from discovering core issues that unconsciously hold you in pain and struggle. Identifying these issues is the first step toward healing them.

Committing to the healing process allows you to fully step into being empowered. It equates to FREEDOM and, ultimately, to living life more spaciously.

Remember, when Love is invited into your life, everything changes in the best way possible. Love unravels non-beneficial patterns and beliefs. When you open your heart to the unconscious voice of pain, within yourself or others, and bring consciousness to the pain, you are addressing the core of human suffering. Boom! What a beautiful way to transform.

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Rita is an Intuitive Counselor who works with bright sensitive people who are sick of struggling in their relationships and want to make the pain go away. Though her in-person and online intimate healing retreats and one-on-one sessions, she has helped thousands of people quiet the noise, move forward, and make peace with their past and their present, so that they can heal, be happier, and live a life they love.

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